Dying to self

As I meditate on Christ's passion today one of the things that strikes me most is that even before giving himself up to death he constantly had to die to his fleshly desires, pain, hunger, thirst, and abandonment. His sacrifice not only that he died but that he endured. As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression this is essential to grasp. Whenever the thought of death becomes a comfort I need to remind myself that God does not necessarily ask that I sacrifice my life which is his anyways but my flesh. Choosing to put one foot in front of the other and focusing on the "next right thing" has been a balm for my soul and allowed me to be of service to others.
     I am reading an amazing book called A Song for Nagasaki  which is the story of Takashi Nagai's life. The story follows not only his journey from atheism to belief but the story of Japan's Catholic history. Nagasaki in particular was a stronghold of the Catholic faith which was anchored by the Cathedral that had been built by the faithful of Nagasaki many of them pesants with no training. Takashi Nagai was also an atomic bomb survivor. Instead of allowing the bomb to take his faith his faith drew meaning from the bombing. Takashi Nagai would later share at a requiem Mass,

                  " I have heard that the atom bomb... was destined for another city. Heavy clouds rendered that
                     target impossible, and the American crew headed for the secondary target, Nagasaki. Then a 
                    mechanical problem arose, and the bomb was dropped further north than planned and burst right 
                   above the cathedral... It was not the American crew, I believe, who chose our suburb. God's 
                   Providence chose Urakami and carried the bomb right above our homes. Is there not a profound 
                     relationship between the annihilation of Nagasaki and the end of the war? Was not Nagasaki 
                   the chosen victim, the lamb without blemish, slain as a whole burnt offering on an altar of sacrifice,
                     atoning for the sins of all nations during World War II"( A Song For Nagasaki pg 174-175)
 I would highly recommend this book and I am going to be looking for the books written by Takashi Nagai in the aftermath of World War II.


                                                  Have a blessed read, Nina