Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death....

        In light of Robin William recent suicide I would like to share my own battle with depression. I want others to know that they are not alone and that there is hope even in the midst of depression. I was first diagnosed with depression a few years ago and since then I have had many highs and lows. I was hospitalized for a week upon my diagnoses and have been on medication ever since that time. My faith has been the greatest help to me through the last few years. If I was not a practicing Catholic I know I would have committed suicide a long time ago. A few months after my diagnosis I had a meeting with a priest in an effort to help deal with my depression. I remember asking him why I was not able to receive God's help no matter how much I prayed? He then asked me if I was sure that God had not been helping me all along and then I discovered to the truth. God was there even when  I could not feel it. While I might feel depressed I always knew that God did not want to me to commit suicide and He did not want me to shut myself out. God had given me the gift not only of the Truth but the truth that He did not want me to commit suicide. Since then I have carefully looked at my life to see the ways that God is present to me even in the depths of my depression. One of the many gifts God has given me is the fact that while I might feel a certain way I do not have to let it affect me. I can choose to live beyond my feelings in the Truth in the life that God calls me to live.

            If you suffer from depression or one of the many other mental illnesses know that you are not alone that God is there right beside you and seek help. These illnesses are isolating, I know that too well myself, seek professional help, reach out to friends and family, and call on God.  I have journeyed through the valley of the shadow of death but is through that knowledge that I can not do anything on my own that God has drawn me into a fuller life of joy and purpose.  Life is sacred, protect it.
                                                              May God's peace be with you, Nina

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